i'm having one of those days. one i could quite happily curl into a ball and do nothing. i mean nothing just sit. feeling alone which is stupid cause i'm not. i have great family and great friends all around so i'm not alone. my boy is great to (when hes not trouble,lol) so not alone. but its just one of those days when i wish i had someone who understood me, or not even understood me because to be honest i don't understand me half the time. but just someone to be with someone to just be here.
it maybe cause i'm getting ready to go on a camping holiday and its making me feel like this. i do wonder if this is my life now. to be alone. now i'm not panicked enough to jump on the next warm body and demand forever!!! but will i be with someone again? i know you can never be sure life is life and throws everything and anything at you. will just have to duck and dive and see whats around at the end of it all.
i am tired though. tired of be ok all the time, because i'm not not all the time. sometimes i'm just as panicked as my friends even though it can be for mere minutes but still its there.
its good to post randomness and feel safe from bombardment of questions, to be able to do it and not feel guilty for not keeping it together!
one day at a time, soon another year will be gone, and that thought has just scared me.
hello page of journalness!! long time no post ! well randomness of randomness. i have picked up a few new shows since being away and its great they are taking over my life. yayayayay. i am an Evil Regal ! got to work on massive mash up at some point! so peace out
i feel really depresed at the moment life is just not playing nice. everything is so negative. i don't know if i have a future with said person any more which scares me silly. not really for me but for my boy. but can i really do the thing i said i'd never do and saty for the child. keep it normal!? he is the best thing in the world, but i'm not sure if it will have a neagive effect on him after all if i'm living a lie.
i just don't care anymore. no energy...so very low and lonley. ......
life is funny everything goes along then everything falls apart in a flash
i don't know what to do anymore. just finding it hard. the other half is not happy but there are some things i can't change or explain. i will go to the doctor as he wants and if she doesn't have the answers then who knows what will happen.